Monday, April 04, 2011

I love You Daddy

Daddy, you are 54 years old today. Happy birthday Daddy! You know what daddy, I have always waited for this particular day every single year since the past 20 years. Just like the rest of the 19 years that have passed by, me and Adi (my brother) and Diena (my younger sister), we celebrated your birthday in our own ways so that we can take our time to remind ourselves how much we love you. 


Daddy, this year was like any other years except that I managed to hold myself from shedding any tears (at least up till now at it's only 3 in the morning the time I'm writing this). It's hard to let you go you know remembering that I was very little the time you left me and the other two. I managed not to cry on the day you left me and everyone else. I remembered not being able to kiss you on the forehead since I was afraid looking at your pale face while you eyes shut closed. Mummy and grandma told me many times to give a quick kiss before you can be sent away, but I was so stubborn. I was just turning 6 years old at that time..


Daddy, when it's nearly your birthday, Busu always tell me this story about your very last words before you went away. "Atie, nanti bila abang tak ada, jaga Aida dan Adi (Diena was 5 months old at that time) baik-baik" and this was uttered a few weeks before you left me and Adi. Every single time I heard this from Busu, I kept myself very quite so that I will not shed a single tear. But Busu and Grandma would cried and I can sense a feel of regrets in their voices. It's hard for them too..


Those were the days Daddy. But now I want to cherish the day and as a start, I did it in my pray this morning. It was such a relief to be able to send my prayers to Him so that He could send my love, hugs and kisses to you. He has His own reasons to take you away from me and I know there's 'hikmah' behind all these.


Alhamdulillah, Allah has always been there and has been fair to me, Adi and Diena. There are times when we envied others who got their Daddy to spoil them with anything they want. But we took that as a challenge so that we can work hard and change ourselves. Not changed by others. This is how we survived Daddy and we did it well. I want you to be proud of me, Adi and Diena..




Dear Daddy, I think I shall stop now before it starts (crying) raining outside on this blissful Monday. I want to keep on dreaming of you and me on the paddle boat on that particular beautiful weekend. The time I was so afraid of the water and reached to you for comfort. You then hugged me so tight and kiss me like there's no tomorrow. I still kept that memories with me and will always be till Allah brings me to you Daddy..


I love you Daddy and again, Happy Birthday..


Your daughter that adores and loves you,
Aida.

17 comments:

reena said...

Babe,

I menangis baca entry ni.

I feel u, babe. I feel u. Every single words dalam entry ni memang bermakna.

*hugs*

waNny said...

babe,

i nangis. althought i still have my dad sometimes i pun take him for a granted. u r daddy's girl same like me :(

i pray he rest in peace there in heaven yeah babe.

>:D< hugs for u from me

lilRed Farah said...

i cried. Happy birthday to ur late daddy. and i shall remember this day cause he has the same birth date as my bestest friend. take care, aida

Naomiehasmi said...

i think i knew how it felt..my dad passed away when i was 6yrs old..didoakan semoga roh your dad, dicucuri rahmat dan dibawah lindungan ALLAH s.w.t. amin.

isma said...

dear,i can feel you!be strong and stay happy and i bet yr dad want to see the happy faces of his children :)

Aida Narina said...

reena: thank you reena. thanks for reading this. i can't believe that when i'm emotionally involved, i tend to let it all out well. i think all of us do.

Aida Narina said...

wanny: i have always been my daddy's girl. i'm sure all of us do feel the same way. i remembered clearly when i was 5, my brother was 4 he hurt me with the bits that came from the sparkler (bunga api tangan) and my dad quickly rushed me to the nearby clinic. he said that it will be okay and a princess with a pretty face like me should not cry. i'm my daddy's princess huhu..

Aida Narina said...

Farah: Thanks Farah for the wish and thanks for reading this post. It wasn't my intention to make you cry and fell sad about this because sad means not happy. But it's okay i guess for the sake of remembering how special my daddy was and still is to me. U take care too dearie..xx

Aida Narina said...

Naomiehasmi: Hi dear! It's great to hear from someone who had the same experience. Even though it was long time ago, but never once the memories of being with our dad slipped our mind kan? All we gotta do is to go ahead with our life and stay strong..

Aida Narina said...

isma: thanks isma..i hope my dad can be proud of me, my bro and little sister :) xx

Leeds Al-Malique said...

Sedih sangat Aida :( i pun nangis...my dad dah la tengah sakit sekarang..

Alfatihah untuk arwah ayah Aida..

Aida Narina said...

Leeds: Leeds, tak bermaksud nak buat leeds sedih. Leeds banyakkan berdoa, sebab pada Dia kita berserah. Aida sentiasa doakan kesihatan ayah leeds bertambah baik :) insyaAllah..

Dan.Eliot said...

very nice Birthday blog to your dad... Godbless..

help for single Dads

Anonymous said...

Aida,

ur words really touched my heart and i cant stop the warm water dropping.. life was hard growing up without him around right. but i know u have the love from the family more than u thought. Moga arwahyarham ayahanda aida tenang di sana.. Af Fatihah

Nikki

Aida Narina said...

anon: dear, thanks for dropping by and reading my entry. i think i used to not having someone that I can call 'daddy' for the 20 years of my life. growing up was the hardest time bcos back then i was so fragile. you know how it was being so little and durable. Alhamdulillah, grandma, aunties and uncles were there to replace him and in fact was loved by so many others in the family. And thanks too for the prayer dear. U take care. Xx

durra abd razak @ kocikin... said...

Aida....
im touched...dont worry dear..u have already make him proud of u..
lots of kisses n hugs from me n Haikal...

Reen Tart Nenas said...

sedih. terus teringat arwah my dad which has left us in feb this year. u're so strong dan sangat tabah as i believe u lost him at ur early age. al-fatihah.