Daddy, this year was like any other years except that I managed to hold myself from shedding any tears (at least up till now at it's only 3 in the morning the time I'm writing this). It's hard to let you go you know remembering that I was very little the time you left me and the other two. I managed not to cry on the day you left me and everyone else. I remembered not being able to kiss you on the forehead since I was afraid looking at your pale face while you eyes shut closed. Mummy and grandma told me many times to give a quick kiss before you can be sent away, but I was so stubborn. I was just turning 6 years old at that time..
Daddy, when it's nearly your birthday, Busu always tell me this story about your very last words before you went away. "Atie, nanti bila abang tak ada, jaga Aida dan Adi (Diena was 5 months old at that time) baik-baik" and this was uttered a few weeks before you left me and Adi. Every single time I heard this from Busu, I kept myself very quite so that I will not shed a single tear. But Busu and Grandma would cried and I can sense a feel of regrets in their voices. It's hard for them too..
Those were the days Daddy. But now I want to cherish the day and as a start, I did it in my pray this morning. It was such a relief to be able to send my prayers to Him so that He could send my love, hugs and kisses to you. He has His own reasons to take you away from me and I know there's 'hikmah' behind all these.
Alhamdulillah, Allah has always been there and has been fair to me, Adi and Diena. There are times when we envied others who got their Daddy to spoil them with anything they want. But we took that as a challenge so that we can work hard and change ourselves. Not changed by others. This is how we survived Daddy and we did it well. I want you to be proud of me, Adi and Diena..
Dear Daddy, I think I shall stop now before it starts
I love you Daddy and again, Happy Birthday..
Your daughter that adores and loves you,