While others opted for a big lunch at the nearest restaurant or food shop, I, on the other hand opted for a quiet Friday lunch at the office. It was barely a lunch. I just had 1 pack of biscuit and only ate 1 pc out of 3.
Friday was supposed to be a very blessed day. It reminds me of my usual Fridays. It was all about going in late to the office, going back early from the office, less traffic jams, long lunch break, relaxing atmosphere at the office and whatnot. Or looking back to my student years, Friday was the day I visited the city center back in Southampton, the day I walked down the high-street hunting for bargains or went down to Boots trying out make-ups and perfumes. It's the day when I used to hang out at the Uni on the green grass in between classes with my fellow mates, or buy ourselves a big lunch consists of the famous quarter pounder burger and chips at the nearest halal food shop.
But today was not about being blessed, at least to me. Something terrible has happened a few hours ago before I write this entry. As a person, a normal person I am, I cried as I let it happened. And come to think of it just now made me realized how small I am and how powerless I became.
Alan was there next to me comforting me that it's all gonna be alright. He's the calmer one. I, on the other hand is a cry-baby and sometimes have the potential not to think wise before I react. I cried and I cried all the way back to the office and stopped when I got tired of the coughing. I'm sick and still on medicines. I cried again when I started thinking about it right until Alan stopped the car as we reached the destination (my destination).
Come to think of it, I never realized that I was that bad. I practically crossed the boundary between right and wrong. Maybe I'm wrong towards a certain extend. Urgh, I thought I was right. But I have no power to change anything..
And at the very moment, I don't really know what to do and in fact I don't know what I felt towards that matter. I was taken aback by the result and was hoping that God will grant my lucky charm back as it would be useful at a time like this....
Hurm..I really hope I can just let it be...It kills me inside..
Please pray for me..:(
p/s: This entry has no connection to my job applications/interviews.
The Thoughts of the Day By